#30YearsRolling – Day 5/30 – Reflections on the 30th anniversary of my injury

Starting a new school this time round was a much more positive experience, one I was looking forward to.

I had the opportunity to go there for 2 weeks at the end of year 8 so I was starting year 9 there already familiar with the school and the beginnings of some friendships.

My younger brother also started there in year 7 that year so I didn’t feel so alone or isolated this time.

I still had to get up just as early though as the bus that picked me up took kids to a couple of different schools.

The days were just as long but they were an improvement on the previous years because I didn’t feel like I was different to anyone else and I was being challenged academically.

I’ve always been incredibly competitive in everything I do – including exams.

Being in a school with loads of other kids who were chosen to be there because of their academic talent was the best thing for me because I had to work harder to compete and I loved that.

While there were some improvements on the academic front, I was still struggling emotionally, and I was continuing to create moments of artificial happiness by getting drunk and stoned.

At my worst there were times I was stoned at school.

On one occasion I was so stoned that I couldn’t speak or read properly, and friends covered for me.

The thing that helped me most through these years of agony was music.

I’ve always had a love for music, but it took on a much bigger role in my life during this time.

A role that I truly didn’t appreciate, or give credit to, until recently.

I had a stack of cassettes and CDs and a “ghetto blaster” in my room that was in constant use.

My walls were covered with posters of my favourite bands including Faith No More, Skid Row, Pantera, Guns’n’Roses, Ugly Kid Joe and the Screaming Jets.

When I felt alone I escaped in music and felt less alone surrounded by the posters.

Music gave me an outlet to channel my anger, frustration and bitterness into.

Music gave me a way to express myself in a way that I didn’t have the words to do.

I was especially fortunate to be at the lowest point in my life at the height of grunge.

Grunge, in all its angst and discontent, was the perfect soundtrack to my life.

When I started going to live concerts it took it to another level for me.

It gave me a sense of connection and community and the energy became a life source for me.

I was fortunate to be part of an amazing youth group with some friends and it was through this group that we went to as many concerts as we could during our high school years.

My first was Red Hot Chilli Peppers when I was in year 8 and I loved everything about it.

The biggest musical highlight for me through that period was being granted a wish from The Starlight Foundation.

I’d asked to meet Guns’n’Roses.

It was a popular wish! On the day there were 12 or 13 others who had wished for the same thing which made it a festival atmosphere for our group.

We had our own little marquee on the grass to the side of the track outside of the main area where more than 100,000 people were squeezed in.

We each got an awesome swag pack which included a t-shirt and a program signed by the whole band.

While the earlier support acts were playing, we were taken to the backstage area where we had a meet and greet with Gilby and Dizzy, got my t-shirt signed and photos taken.

The show was incredible and to this day is still one of my favourite concerts.

From then each concert that was coming up was what pulled me into the future.

I lived gig to gig.

Music was keeping me alive.

The song that represents this time for me is “Estranged” by Guns’n’Roses.

#rebirthday #ToMyYoungerSelf

Follow hashtag #30YearsRolling to read this series as it is published. You are welcome to comment on and share these posts