#30YearsRolling – Day 19/30 – Reflections on the 30th Anniversary of my Injury
THE 22 YEAR PACT
When I had to spend 8 weeks flat on my back immediately after my injury I had a lot of time to think.
One of the things I thought most about was sport. Specifically, about how I couldn’t do the things I used to do and love any more.
It was during this time that I made a pact with my then 12-year-old self that I was never going to play sport again because I couldn’t do it like I used to and I didn’t think I could ever be good at anything again.
On school sports carnival days, even though the schools had said I needed to go to support my peers, I got my mum to write sick notes so I didn’t have to go. Watching others do the things that I once excelled at was something I was not going to do.
Other than a few experiences in my teens and twenties, where I reluctantly attempted a couple of sports and ended up feeling incredibly embarrassed by how slow and uncoordinated I was, I kept that pact with myself for 22 years.
It was a few days after my 34th birthday that I had an urge, that seemingly came from nowhere, that said, “Stace, it’s time to get fit!”
There’s a time to question things, and a time not to question things. In this situation the urge was so clear and strong it was a case of “if you say so”.
I was pretty healthy at the time but definitely far from fit. Other than a couple of very brief rehab stints in the 22 years, I had not been to a gym or had a regular exercise program in that time.
I had no idea where to start with this newfound mission but that didn’t end up being a problem. A couple of days later I received an email about a Paralympic Talent Search. That had to be a good place to find a way to get fit! It’s funny how when you commit to an intention that the Universe conspires to help you see ways to make it happen.
Enthusiastically I registered for the event and didn’t think much more about it until a couple of days beforehand.
It was then I had another look at the registration form and noticed that it said they were looking for athletes.
In my mind, I wasn’t an athlete and was never going to be one again so I said to my partner at the time that I wasn’t going to go. He talked me out of it by saying, “just go and have a look, you never know what might happen”.
I went with no expectations of what may happen.
As soon as I went into the hall I immediately felt like the oldest person there and definitely was the only person wearing jeans (I didn’t own trackpants or anything that resembled active wear at the time).
I made my way around all of the stations set up and gave my best effort for everything I was able to do. To my complete surprise, every coach I came across said I could do the sports they had.
I still didn’t think anything more of it other than there could be something among those sports that would be a fun way to get fit.
That was until I got a letter in the mail a couple of weeks later from the Paralympic Committee that said I had the physical attributes to become a potential Paralympian if I chose to pursue it.
I sat there staring at that letter for who knows how long thinking, “shit… I’ve just spent the last 22 years not even having a crack because I didn’t think I was good enough, and here I am at 34 having done nothing for so long with an opportunity to represent my country!”
All of my competitive instincts were completely reignited in that moment and I decided that I was going to give it everything and aim to compete in the Rio Paralympics.
The first thing I needed to do was to work out which sport was going to be my best shot.
I looked back at the sports I tried at the talent search day – table tennis, rowing, bocce and athletics.
At the time I was living in the Adelaide Hills so nowhere near the water and given the way I had my injury I don’t have a great relationship with water, so I ruled out rowing.
I didn’t think table tennis or bocce were physically demanding enough, probably best done with a glass of wine in the other hand with some friends, so I decided to park those – perhaps to revisit if I wanted to have another crack at the Paralympics when I was 60!
That left me with athletics.
I organised a time to go to the athletics track to test some racing wheelchairs and meet the local coach.
Getting my very long legs squashed into a very small space in an almost kneeling position was one of the most uncomfortable things I’d experienced and after a run in with the coach about the sitting position for someone with my disability I ruled that out too.
I felt a bit despondent for a few days after that, thinking I had run out of options – other than wheelchair rugby which always and forever will be a no from me – I had the throwing coach contact me suggesting that my build would be perfect for being a thrower.
I know it’s hard to tell because I’m sitting, but if I was on my feet I’m around 6’1” and have a ridiculously long “wingspan”.
Excited to explore another possibility, I trekked back down to the athletics track to see how I’d go throwing.
Seated throwing involves using a “throwing frame” which I liken most to a high chair! It is tall (maximum 75cm high), quite narrow and is anchored into the ground with tent pegs and tie downs!
After getting lifted on to it, I was strapped down on to the seat, my legs got strapped against the frame and whichever hand I didn’t throw with was holding on to a vertical pole.
It wasn’t great but it was way better than the racing chairs!
The thing I hadn’t given much thought to before I got secured in place, was that I’m right handed but can’t use any of the fingers on my right hand so how was I going to hold anything let alone throw?
I decided to attempt to throw left handed since I have a bit more use of my left hand.
I wasn’t game to try the javelin because I was scared that I’d stab myself in the foot and I didn’t think a shot put would even make it that far so I was left with a discus.
It wasn’t easy to hold it but I gripped it the best I could and threw the most pathetic throw you would have ever seen. But it went forwards!
That was enough for me. I took home a discus feeling inspired and motivated to work out a plan to get to the Paralympics.
The song that represents this time for me is “Maybe It’s Time” – Sixx:A.M https://youtu.be/tRWhMbY5NV0
#rebirthday #ToMyYoungerSelf
Follow hashtag #30YearsRolling on social media to read this series as it is published. You are welcome to comment on and share these posts
Stacey Copas, Author of “How To Be Resilient”, helps shift the way people perceive and respond to uncertainty, change and adversity, helping them to see opportunities where they once saw only obstacles.
To be fulfilled and successful in embracing the uncertain and changing world, it is essential to develop resilience to see and act on the opportunities that uncertainty and change present.
Stacey is available to present or coach online/remotely/virtually across all time zones. Book via bookings@staceycopas.com