#30YearsRolling – Day 15/30 – Reflections on the 30th Anniversary of my Injury

 

 

 

It felt surreal to have made such a huge move.

 

It wasn’t the best time of year to move, a little over a week out from Christmas, which meant I had to wait until into the new year for the removalists to deliver most of my things.

 

The reason for moving at that time was to do Christmas with the partner’s family so that I could meet them all in one place.

 

That was a really positive experience and I definitely felt welcomed by them.

 

It was also to be able to have him around for a few weeks before going back to work after the break to help me get settled in as best as I could.

 

I was fortunate to have a couple of fantastic new support workers to help with my morning personal care but the stress of not having any guarantees of support beyond 8 weeks was looming over me.

 

Straight after the Christmas break I resumed my advocating, networking, lobbying, harassing in all forms to get some assurances on long term funding.

 

This included getting letters from various sources, including my new specialist, and pitching them to the Disability Minister.

 

It was a very difficult process and in the end the only way I managed to get long term support was to slash what I was asking for.

 

I went from 2 hours every morning to 2.5 hours every second day and then had to rely on the partner for support in between.

 

It was a far from ideal outcome but at least the most minimum of my needs were covered.

 

The biggest adjustment for me with the move was becoming a step parent in the process.

 

I remember before the move going to Borders Books and searching for books on the subject.

 

I found the huge wall of parenting books and spent ages scanning over them to find only one book on step parenting.

 

I immersed in it, discussed what I was discovering with the partner and then trying to implement the best I could.

 

The one phrase that kept coming up through the book, and then the others that I found on eBay and in online forums was “I knew it was going to be hard but not this hard!”

 

I kept at it though.

 

When the partner went back to work after the Christmas break is when reality really set in and it hit me just how isolated I felt.

 

He worked over an hour each way from home so I was home alone, not knowing anyone, without transport and living 40 mins out of the metro area, for around 10 hours a day and it was tough.

 

I spent a lot of time on the phone with friends and family back in Sydney and kept as positive as I could about the situation but I was homesick in a big way.

 

I was applying for jobs, getting the odd interview but nothing landed.

 

Through an introduction from someone back in Sydney I started volunteering one afternoon a week in the internet café at the rehab centre in Adelaide and it was a sanity saver as well as being incredibly rewarding.

 

After being there for a couple of months I was called for a short casual reception role in a government agency.

 

It was exciting to have an opportunity for paid work after almost 6 months without so I took it.

 

At the end of the first day I said to the partner on the way home, “I was so effing bored I don’t think I could do this for 6 weeks!”

 

Somehow I managed to stay amused enough (the money was a big part) and ended up getting the job full time, it was a big step backwards from what I had done before but I needed the work and saw opportunity for progression there.

 

Working in the public sector was a culture shock for me after my entire career prior to it being in the fast paced industrial sector.

 

I did what I needed to though and the social aspect was excellent so I focused on that benefit.

 

Alongside the job search I had connected in the political introductions I had been given and quickly found myself secretary of the local branch at my first AGM.

 

It didn’t take long though to realise that being the new kid in town in a place like the Adelaide Hills was never going to allow me to pursue the aspirations I had and I stepped away from politics all together.

 

I realised that I could make a bigger difference outside of being a politician and it felt like both a weight had been lifted, and that there was a void again from a career perspective.

 

Once I’d been in the job for a while and the partner had been in his new job (one closer to home and more flexible to allow for parenting responsibilities) for a while too, we decided it was time to look for a house to buy.

 

There was one place we’d been looking at for a long time in the local paper and that was one of four houses we planned to inspect on the weekend we started the search.

 

After being underwhelmed by a few we got to the one we had high hopes for and ended up very disappointed.

 

A good chat with the agent through had her suggest we go to another inspection she was doing later in the day at a suburb ten minutes away that hadn’t been on our radar.

 

She let us know to ignore the asking price, the vendors were very motivated to get it sold and to make an offer if we liked what we saw.

 

Pulling up outside this house my initial feeling was this is way beyond what I felt was possible at the time.

 

Going inside kicked that feeling into overdrive!

 

The place was beautiful, enormous and required minimum tweaks for accessibility so we excitedly put a pretty gutsy offer in.

 

After a few negotiations an offer just $10K above our initial one was accepted and it was the most amazing feeling.

 

Moving in a couple of months later was another surreal experience.

 

I remember wandering around in awe feeling so surprised and grateful that it was actually my home.

 

 

 

The song that represents this time for me is “Somewhere I Belong” by Linkin Park.

 

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Stacey Copas, Author of “How To Be Resilient”, helps shift the way people perceive and respond to uncertainty, change and adversity, helping them to see opportunities where they once saw only obstacles.

To be fulfilled and successful in embracing the uncertain and changing world, it is essential to develop resilience to see and act on the opportunities that uncertainty and change present.

Stacey is available to present or coach online/remotely/virtually across all time zones. Book via bookings@staceycopas.com