#30YearsRolling – Day 16/30 – Reflections on the 30th Anniversary of my Injury

 

ual appointment with my spinal injuries specialist, which was more of a social chat by this time since my body was in pretty good shape, that she suggested a conference that would be good for me to attend.

 

The conference was an annual spinal cord injuries one that I was very aware of but thought it was only for clinicians and people working in the field so I’d never considered going before.

 

I was excited to get the opportunity to go to be able to see some of the doctors and health professionals who had helped me at different parts of the journey and also to see how much had changed since I’d had my injury and what might be useful.

 

Little did I know just how much one of the conversations at the conference was going to change my life.

 

I made sure I registered for all of the networking/social events to get every drop of opportunity out of my time there.

 

It was at the preconference networking drinks that I was drawn to an exhibitor’s booth that had a pretty rugged looking three wheeled wheelchair on display.

 

My questions about the chair led to an in depth conversation about how the chair was designed for using in developing nations where physical accessibility is poor which intrigued me.

 

We then went on to discuss their education and development work using peer mentors which intrigued me even more.

 

What really hit my heart was hearing that in developing countries 75% of people who sustain an injury like mine die within two years of their injury and there I was 21 years post injury in the best shape of my life.

 

When I was asked if I had been overseas before (I replied, “I’m going to Tasmania next week does that count?!”) I didn’t click initially that they were seeing if I was interested in getting involved in their work.

 

It was later that night on my way out that I was asked directly if I would be interested in being one of their peer mentors for a project in Solomon Islands in 2011.

 

I surprised myself with how quickly I responded, “I’ll do it if he (I had gestured to the partner who was with me) can come with me.”

 

They said yes and I then had my first overseas trip ahead of me – another example of my “say YES and work out how later” approach to life.

 

I was a precious city girl and there I was heading for two weeks in oppressive conditions, a lot of it with no electricity or hot water!

 

The trip itself jolted me out of my comfort zone in every possible way.

 

I wasn’t completely ignorant of what I might encounter but once I was in the camp with a group of local wheelchair users and their support people my eyes and my heart were truly opened in a way that changed me forever.

 

Through the days we ran education sessions, everything from helping people understand their disability and wheelchair skills, to relationships, sexuality and how to prevent pressure sores and urinary tract infections which were the cause of most of the premature deaths.

 

In the evenings we sang, played games and had valuable 1:1 conversations that were both confronting and transformational.

 

The impact and connection helped to take the focus off just how difficult the conditions were for me.

 

It was very hot and humid all day with no fans or air conditioning.

 

My legs got really swollen.

 

The small room I slept in had no airflow, concrete floor and had to sleep under mosquito nets.

 

The best I could do to keep cool of a night was to sleep in my underwear and cover myself in wet towels.

 

One pre-dawn trip to the toilet block with a torch saw a massive cockroach fly right at my face!

 

A lot of Mortein and insect repellent was used during the time there.

 

Malaria is a huge problem there so I was dosed up on anti-malarials as well.

 

I struggled with food and by the end of the camp I was eating mostly rice and pineapple.

 

There were no accessible vehicles, accessible toilets or smooth pathways to get around.

 

One afternoon when we headed into town for a wheelchair basketball demonstration, I ended up with bad heat stroke from restricting my water intake because I knew I wouldn’t have access to a bathroom I could use there.

 

I got so sick from it that they drove me into town and carried me up all the stairs to the Aussie café which was the only public place with air conditioning we could use.

 

Prior to the camp we had a tour of the national hospital which was something I’ll never forget.

 

Heading in it was impossible to miss all the signage warning of leprosy.

 

We heard accounts of rats gnawing on freshly amputated limbs in the night and of people being killed in the hospital at the height of the recent civil war (there were still some peace keeping troops in the country at the time we were there).

 

The most confronting experience for me at the hospital was having a quiet chat with a young man who had a spinal cord injury, quite similar to mine, as a result of being bashed.

 

He seemed quite positive and I held back the tears until I got outside but then lost it knowing that it was highly unlikely that he would survive.

 

The whole experience was profound, and I came away feeling compelled to do more.

 

I’ll always remember my first day back at work after the trip.

 

I remember sitting in my office looking around going “what the f*&k am I doing here?”

 

I felt anyone with a bit of project management and accounting experience could do what I was doing but not any one could do what I just done.

 

In that moment I realised how valuable my life experience was for the first time and how it could make a huge difference so I made a commitment that I was going to leave that job in a year’s time to do something with meaning and purpose.

 

I decided that in the meantime I would do whatever I could to raise awareness and money to help people like those I mentored in Solomon Islands.

 

That gave me a renewed energy to do more and also magnified the frustration I felt doing a job I didn’t like.

 

I felt like a little of my soul was dying each day I was in the office.

 

I was offered one day a week paid role as a Community Engagement Coordinator for the organisation I did the trip with and that was a step in the direction I wanted to move in.

 

It gave me the opportunity to raise awareness and funds to support the work I’d become passionate about.

 

Doing that one day a week and the other four in the existing job was a juggle but worth it.

 

Later in the year my work with the trip mentoring in Solomon Islands saw me featured in Grazia Magazine’s “Women of the Year” issue in the Heroes category where they named me “Fighter of the Year” (message me if you’d like to read the article).

 

That public recognition was the acknowledgment that helped cement my newfound feeling of value and self worth and confirmed that I was moving in the right direction.

 

I had a new resolve to say yes to even more opportunities even if there were big challenges in accessibility or personal comfort to overcome in the process and I was way less precious about things being easy or comfortable.

 

 

 

The song that represents this time for me is “You Get What You Give” by The New Radicals.

 

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Stacey Copas, Author of “How To Be Resilient”, helps shift the way people perceive and respond to uncertainty, change and adversity, helping them to see opportunities where they once saw only obstacles.

To be fulfilled and successful in embracing the uncertain and changing world, it is essential to develop resilience to see and act on the opportunities that uncertainty and change present.

Stacey is available to present or coach online/remotely/virtually across all time zones. Book via bookings@staceycopas.com